He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
