He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
