Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
