Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The feeling are messing with the penis
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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