a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
