you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
