What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize