how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
