her vagine was all disorganized.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The air was thick with penises
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
