Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize