Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
