I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
