Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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