JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Farmville is her only friend.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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