It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
