I want to stick my p in your. b.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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