she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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