I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Randomize
