I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
