Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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