if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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