People in love make me want to vomit
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
