At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
