i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
