oh god the rape fog is back!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
