So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
