Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize