just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
