PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
