Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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