I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
