I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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