Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
