I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
