I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
