Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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