You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Someone signed my nipple.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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