she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
