she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This baby is an asshole
It's blow job season.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
