thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Randomize
