I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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