my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
