Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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