another moral hangover. fuck.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
