Will you blow on my dice?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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