Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I love you. Go after that dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize