I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
