I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
