I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
