Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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