I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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