I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
