I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
