forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
