Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
