Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize