quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize