all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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