is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
