i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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