Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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