There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
