i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
