Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize