My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
