So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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